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Deviant for 12 Years
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Overdue Apology. Hi, guys.

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 29, 2015, 7:47 AM



It's been a long time since I looked in on this page and I'm not sure what to say. But looking at the comments on my main page, it's clear that I definitely owe the people who watched (and still watch) me here a massive apology.

I am very sorry to have up and left without a word and I am very sorry to have worried anyone here. It was a dick move and you all deserve better than that. I am especially sorry to have worried people by not letting them know what was happening though, not-knowing can be a horrible thing.

I feel like offering an explanation is trying to offer an excuse. I don't want to do that, but I would like to let people know what happened rather than presenting them with more radio silence.

I suppose the abridged version is: at the time there was a lot of upheaval going on in my life. I was moving countries, moving jobs, trying to find a place to live in that new country. It was incredibly stressful, the most stressful thing I've ever done. Before I moved, I was also being actively harassed by a specific individual -- who had a lot of problems, themselves. The move started and that harassment followed me to Deviantart and it was just an additional stress I didn't want, or need.

So I removed everything and removed myself from this site, along with other sites where the same thing was happening. My reasoning being that it's hard to harass someone if they're not there.

Removing my stuff and dropping out of DA didn't seem like a big deal in the face of everything else. At that point other things in my life had to take priority.

I moved, I got a job, I worked and I can say that at least I worked hard. I can also say I wasn't happy living where I was living. It wasn't home. This wasn't a good time in my life etc. I guess this unhappiness opened up a line of communication with people back home and eventually, I decided that if I was going to come home I needed a permanent fixture to keep me there. Long story short, I talked to my lawyer, got a loan then bought myself a house, spent the consequent months back and forth renovating it (with professional builders because the place needed a lot of work) then moved back.

There's more to add, the person who helped me get my house passed away due to an accident two months after I was able to move in and I regret not thanking him a lot more than I did because he was the most selfless person I've ever known and without him I'd honestly still be lost. I love him to bits but I know he's in a better place now. They say here that god takes his favourites early. I'm not a religious person but that's something I'd like to believe in, at least.

As this is already a wall of text that's too wordy, I'll stop there, but I wanted to apologize again to the people who have sent message of concern here on this page or notes in private (which I haven't looked at yet, but I don't remember having this many notes) and tell you guys that I am very sorry. And to the person who bought me a subscription while I was gone: thank you very much, that was so kind, please sent me a note if you're still around, I'd like to do something for you.

I hope you guys are doing well. Thank you for everything through the years.



  • Mood: Affection

Overdue Apology. Hi, guys.

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 29, 2015, 7:47 AM



It's been a long time since I looked in on this page and I'm not sure what to say. But looking at the comments on my main page, it's clear that I definitely owe the people who watched (and still watch) me here a massive apology.

I am very sorry to have up and left without a word and I am very sorry to have worried anyone here. It was a dick move and you all deserve better than that. I am especially sorry to have worried people by not letting them know what was happening though, not-knowing can be a horrible thing.

I feel like offering an explanation is trying to offer an excuse. I don't want to do that, but I would like to let people know what happened rather than presenting them with more radio silence.

I suppose the abridged version is: at the time there was a lot of upheaval going on in my life. I was moving countries, moving jobs, trying to find a place to live in that new country. It was incredibly stressful, the most stressful thing I've ever done. Before I moved, I was also being actively harassed by a specific individual -- who had a lot of problems, themselves. The move started and that harassment followed me to Deviantart and it was just an additional stress I didn't want, or need.

So I removed everything and removed myself from this site, along with other sites where the same thing was happening. My reasoning being that it's hard to harass someone if they're not there.

Removing my stuff and dropping out of DA didn't seem like a big deal in the face of everything else. At that point other things in my life had to take priority.

I moved, I got a job, I worked and I can say that at least I worked hard. I can also say I wasn't happy living where I was living. It wasn't home. This wasn't a good time in my life etc. I guess this unhappiness opened up a line of communication with people back home and eventually, I decided that if I was going to come home I needed a permanent fixture to keep me there. Long story short, I talked to my lawyer, got a loan then bought myself a house, spent the consequent months back and forth renovating it (with professional builders because the place needed a lot of work) then moved back.

There's more to add, the person who helped me get my house passed away due to an accident two months after I was able to move in and I regret not thanking him a lot more than I did because he was the most selfless person I've ever known and without him I'd honestly still be lost. I love him to bits but I know he's in a better place now. They say here that god takes his favourites early. I'm not a religious person but that's something I'd like to believe in, at least.

As this is already a wall of text that's too wordy, I'll stop there, but I wanted to apologize again to the people who have sent message of concern here on this page or notes in private (which I haven't looked at yet, but I don't remember having this many notes) and tell you guys that I am very sorry. And to the person who bought me a subscription while I was gone: thank you very much, that was so kind, please sent me a note if you're still around, I'd like to do something for you.

I hope you guys are doing well. Thank you for everything through the years.



  • Mood: Affection

Comments


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:iconzebbie45:
zebbie45 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015
Hello there heh... sorry if it's an annoying question, but I've been watching a long time, from back in your Sonic x Knuckles OTP days. You wrote a long epic fanfic called The Last Guardian, didn't you? I was just wondering if there is anyplace that it's still readable, or if it's lost forever?
Reply
:iconradenwani:
radenwani Featured By Owner Edited May 21, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love your drawing <3 They are soo beautiful and I'm so glad you are back :D
Reply
:iconrazaphael:
Razaphael Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
YOUR BACK!!! JOY AND CELEBRATION!!!
But seriously, its good to see you alive! :)
Reply
:iconmusic---junky:
Music---Junky Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave: Hello! :wave:
I just wanted to invite you to my group, Spread--the--Art, and also ask if you could donate any points to us! :heart: I put a lot of time into this group and we have some really wonderful members who I can't reward without the generous donations we're always so grateful for. :D
We're always looking for new members, and we'd love to have you! Even if you can't donate any points, please stop by and see if you think you'd enjoy joining! We have weekly and monthly contests and an awesome gallery.
If you can donate, please do so on my profile. (I am the admin. :)) I'd be happy to check out your gallery & leave you some comments in return as well! You can check out the group here:
spread--the--art.deviantart.co…
Thanks & have a great evening! :)
Reply
:iconyasser02:
Yasser02 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015
Hi, where are you ??
Reply
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